Transience
by AthenAltena
Summary: Yuuko reflects on mortality, the passing of time, and the impermanence of it all during her time with Clow. Slight CSS crossover.


"_To suspect your own mortality is to know the beginning of terror, to learn irrefutably that you are mortal is to know the end of terror."_

- Frank Herbert

**.o.O.o.**

Their time together was passing, both literally and figuratively. Clow of course would get that Cheshire-cat grin that Yuuko knew meant he was thinking about the elaborate plans he had been concocting since long before they'd ever met, and sometimes she thought there was a small bit of sorrow in his eyes when he thought about all the things he'd never get to see firsthand.

Despite everything they were both human, and while they both knew it there was always that temptation to momentarily dispel the knowledge of their own mortality for the sake of living purely in the moment.

But for wizards that was a hard thing to do, and for Clow especially. Yuuko would try to talk him out of his spells of depression over it – usually with a lure of the alcohol he loved so fervently – but even that was a temporary solution, and he always returned to his usual mode of preparing for the future while simultaneously dreading it as soon as the alcohol wore off.

Yuuko never claimed any power when it came to real foresight, but even she could not help but shiver at the thought of him not being there anymore. He was her constant, a presence in her mind filled not with light but shadow, forever hidden behind that wry smirk and loving chuckle. Yes, even she, the Witch of Dimensions, feared death till the day he died.

**.o.O.o.**

"Tomoeda Station, now arriving at Tomoeda Station."

Yuuko shifted in her seat and allowed herself a cursory glance out the window. It really had been too long since she'd been out, hadn't it? Especially if she was this tense just leaving the shop – Tokyo Tower was still visible, for God's sake!

She sighed and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and stood, swaying slightly as the train came to a stop. Despite having chosen a toned-down version of her usual attire, just a simple black dress and a lace-accented pillbox hat, she felt incredibly overdressed amongst these working class people, more like a walking freak show than a casual visitor to a neighboring ward. Nonetheless people were polite, albeit curious about the strangely dressed woman who seemed more at place in a Ginza store window than a commuter train.

She stepped off onto the platform and moved out into the surprisingly clean air, feeling her spirits lift just a bit at the knowledge that this place was upwind of the smoggy envelope of Tokyo. Despite herself she began to compliment Clow in her mind for his choice before she squashed the idea flat. First impressions weren't everything, and this was just the train station, after all. It had only been – how many years since she'd been here last? – And besides, places change.

But, to both her delight and indignation, the rest of the town proved to be just as nice. If she had to guess on the reason she'd say that the town was built on an especially positive aquifer, and everything from the trees to the various energies that ran like electricity among the oblivious populace seemed to reflect this. In her old-timer way, she was glad to see that it had remained virtually unchanged at its core since she had been here last.

She needed no directions. Even though the layout of the town had changed she knew exactly where what she sought lay. She passed various people on their way to work, school, and some just enjoying the sunshine, occasionally stepping off the sidewalks for bikers. With the exception a few curious glances in her general direction they paid her little mind. Tomoeda, she sensed, was a town forever in motion, with little time to stare at a new oddity before moving on to something else.

No wonder Clow had liked it.

As she rounded the corner a yellow, two story house came into view, and she knew instantly this was it. She crossed the street and chose a place to stand – not too conspicuous, but enough so that it didn't look suspicious – and settled into observing the house for a few moments.

As she was watching a young man stepped out onto the porch, his gaze falling instantly upon her. By the way his eyes widened just slightly she knew he must see that something about her that stuck out even more than her clothes, and she reclined her head slightly to indicate that she meant no harm. He observed her for a moment before sound of a phone made him turn back inside after returning the gesture.

After he had gone she remained for a moment, just observing and taking in both what had been here and what was to come. She had to compliment Clow on his work, half-completed as it was. Deciding that she'd lingered long enough she turned back along the street towards her Tokyo, one of mystery, magic and wishes, but felt somewhat satisfied in the knowledge that this and all it represented still existed only a stone's throw away.

**.o.O.o.**

"Do you know why I like the Moon?"

She raised an eyebrow at his question and turned her head just enough to catch sight of That Smirk – the one that to her indicated that he was being both serious and coy.

"Because it's unreachable?"

He laughed then, a deep, throaty laugh tinged with just a bit of sadness. He briefly swirled his glass – a ridiculous procedure, considering it contained sake, not brandy – and turned his face up towards the sky, the moonlight reflecting off of his glasses.

"No, not that. I'm not _that_ foolhardy. Yet."

The last bit was said with a small _huff_, like a laugh that hadn't quite managed to fully form. They both took another sip to try and dispel the quickly-forming atmosphere of discomfort.

Clow sighed and leaned back, his obscenely long legs dangling over the side of the porch like a child's. She couldn't help but chuckle at this, and it had the necessary effect of lightening the mood just slightly and giving Clow the impetus to speak again.

"No. I like it because of its duality – dark and light, motion and stillness, push and pull." Again he swirled the glass, though now he too seemed aware of the absurdity of the gesture. "It seems to change every night, but it's the same Moon no matter what happens. And even when it's completely dark you know it's somewhere up there. All you have to do is have faith that it'll come back on its own."

Yuuko watched him carefully, noting the play of shadows and light on his face. Finally she sighed and leaned back as well, letting her gaze drift between him and the Moon.

"Well, you can think that, but even the Moon changes if you give it long enough." She quipped back, despite knowing what he meant. She wasn't going to just accept his point of view, not tonight.

Seeming to realize this, he laughed and leaned back further, bringing his hands up behind his head.

"Somehow I knew you'd say that."

Yuuko was tempted to toss the remaining sake on him just for the hell of it, but something reined her in at the last second. Bastard probably would've been expecting it.

**.o.O.o.**

After grabbing a few things from a neighborhood market she returned home to the house she knew so well. She paused in the entryway to remove her shoes and was greeted by Maru and Moro, forever bright and happy behind their soulless eyes. She almost envied their ability to be perpetually contented in spite of all the evil in the world, but she would always quickly remind herself that being without a soul was akin to being trapped in the exact moment of death forever. A life with suffering was fuller than one without, the Old Masters had always said, and though she have may pitied their state she never let herself forget that they, like much that had been set in place years before, had a purpose that would ultimately be for the greater good.

She quickly changed into a house kimono, letting her hair fall loose before she moved into the parlor, ready to greet the guest she felt approaching. Small excursions aside, there were always things to attend to, plan, and prepare, now more so than ever.

**.o.O.o.**

"Is it hard?" she asked one day, finally mustering up the courage to ask. He turned his head towards her, but she could not see his eyes behind the light reflecting off of his glasses, making him impossible to read.

"Is what hard?" he asked innocently, but the dark undercurrent of his voice gave him away. She scowled, quickly losing patience with him.

"You know what I mean. You see everything. You _know_ everything. Isn't that hard to live with?"

He didn't respond, just turned his head away. She huffed and sprawled out dramatically on the floor, her hair spreading behind her. So he was in one of _those_ moods, eh? She'd never get anywhere tonight.

Just as she'd dismissed the possibility of having a meaningful conversation with him tonight he was inexplicably lying on the floor next to her, his hands behind his head and a playful, almost goofy smile plastered across his face. She stared indignantly at him until he sighed and closed his eyes.

"Depends on what you mean by hard. If you mean knowing full well that I'll die and all that then yes, it can be hard. But on the other hand…" he reached over and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer and earning a surprised squawk from her. She glared up at him, but his grin just broadened further.

"It means I don't feel so guilty about doing this."

And then, despite herself, she laughed.

- Fin


End file.
